The Nearly Dead

Steve Jobs is dead.

So are all the members of ABBA.

Oh wait, hold on… they're not. Not even Agnetha, who hasn't been heard from since 1984.

It seems Bloomberg's publication of an obituary for Apple's founder and CEO, Steve Jobs, was a mistake….Le Massivo Mistake-o, as they say in Swiss German.

It seems the Bloomberg people were updating Jobs's future obituary – as one does on a slow day – when it was published accidentally.

I believe this kind of thing could happen far more regularly than it actually does. There are many people around who appear to me to be dead, or at least, undead.

Some examples:

-Michael Jackson (happy 50^th b-day, missy!)

-The whole of S.A's parliament

-All the cashiers at the Spar I patronise (and who, in turn, patronise me)

-Danish singers Michael Learns to Rock

-Essop Pahad

-Chris Martin from Coldplay

-My friend's family friend Bevan, who I'm convinced is a zombie

 

The problem is, anyone who tries to compose an obituary for the above-mentioned individuals is likely to die of boredom before completing it.

 

To end….a joke:

Two nuns are driving at night when they're pulled over by a vampire.

One nun says to the other: "Show him your cross"

So the other nun leans out the window and says, "Get out of bloody way, you git!!"